Are We Actually Communicating?
The pseudo-communicating skills we have masked as expression.
Communication is the bedrock of existence. Allen Louis defines communication as “the sum of all the things one person does; when he wants to create understanding in the mind of another. It involves a systematic and continuous process of telling, listening and understanding.”
That’s a very concise definition that encapsulates three different vital parts of communication. When you communicate, it means you tell, listen and understand the other person. None of it is done in isolation. While doing those three, there is reasoning ingrained in each step. But recently, we barely see the reasoning in the things people say they have communicated.
People act funny, box many wrong ideas as facts, blurt them out or even dumb them on their social media platforms, and call it communication. They put out their dirty opinions and unprocessed thoughts, and call it communication. Not particularly following a reasoning pattern while doing this. To them, agreeing with every voice in their head is the only way to ‘communicate’ with them.
As humans, I believe that a very good way to show that you can own your existence is to properly think about a lot of things before saying them loudly for the world to hear. Trust me, no one likes a person without a guard to their tongue.
Checking with yourself if what you say and how you act out what you think, is very vital. As philosophy and science describe it, rational thinking is what differentiates humans from animals. Psychologists also add that communication, alongside rational thinking, are the markers of difference between animals and humans.
That being said, isn’t poor communication the cause of our problems in the world?
Some people tend to go all authoritative in their speech and with the words they use. Some people uphold double and multiple standards without realizing it because they fail to realise that communication is not a one-way street.
Did you know that parts of communication that shouldn’t be done without are listening and thinking? These two are so underrated in recent times.
When it is only your voice you can hear every single time you are in a conversation or an argument for the longest time, check again. You probably are no longer communicating (except of course when you are at a seminar or a conference speaking. There are those kinds of exceptions.)
Patiently lookout for those times when the person you are speaking with is zoning off. This would help your communication skills better.
Sometimes, it is okay to wait and listen to what a person has to say before assuming that they are not good enough for you to listen to.
Don’t just build a class system around your communication. Rather, engage your skills and know when to speak, when to be quiet and when to exchange words.
You would need to talk to people from different fields and class systems. At least, try not to take harmful steps into how you structure your communication.
P.S:Don’t be too woke that you’d forget what it means to be courteous. Learning communication does not mean you become a coward, it just helps you become a better person.
